April Fools Entry

(This was my stab at a bit of an April Fools joke.)

Page 23:
Statistic Modifiers, defensive voodoo & other motorcycle enchantments

We conclude our discussion of statistic modifiers with a look at piety, marksmanship, and foxiness.

The modifiers on page 23 for piety are pretty straightforward. Aside from the base +2d3 given to each nun (alternately a -2d3 for “Fallen Mamas”), the various background elements from the “Pre-road life” table on page 19 are used. These are mostly logical choices (from Bible Belt +2, raised by Contrarian Universalist Monks -1d6, etc.) a few are more dubious. Why do members of the Universal Church of the Thunderbird (Reformed) given a only a +1 bonus while the The Beloved Me Tender gain a bonus of +1d3? Both are Elvisian denominations with a similar Fervor rating. Perhaps this was (anohter) typo?

The marksmanship (shouldn’t that be markswomanship?) statistic is derived from the average of your Dexterity, Reflex rating, and Chutzpah, a choice I will again say seems illogical at best. Characters with a “base brat” background automatically round that average up, given even more incentive to pick that profile, if there weren’t enough already.

The last statistic foxiness is the most fluid of any in KCMoWvtAMWN and is constantly changing depending on clothes worn, % perspiration, time of day (a strong bonus after 3 am), cool checks, and the like. An amusing artifact of when the first edition was written are the various “babes” listed to rate the 11 potential degrees of foxiness. Does anyone still remember Kelly LeBrock? Its the usual sexist line here- and way to heavy on the blonds, for my taste.

Next up, for no good reason, are several lists of gear for your chopper, including voodoo spells for hire. Why this is included before Chapter 7’s discussions of magic is beyond me. Some of this material is taken verbatim from earlier editions of Car Wars, though the inclusion of the Quetzalcoatl Mark VII missile system and the “Papal Bull” mines are unique to this game, unsurprisingly.

I should note that the illustration on this page, “Sister Bernadette of the Holy Order of Toci Yoalticitl takes aim with a sawed-off shotgun” was removed from later editions of Kung-Fu CB Mamas on Wheels versus the Aztec Motorcycle Wrestling Nuns due to a copyright complaint from Harley-Davidson at the manner in which their logo was incorporated into her riding leather habit.

Tomorrow: Chrome loa and spiked rosary attachments, plus severe tire damage table B!

fnord!